blog rants generally aren't my thing, but tonights a special occasion:
i have the ability to think. i have the ability to comprehend. i have the ability to listen. but i do not have the ability to let you think for me. especially trivial things like this.
i'm not you.
and i'm not an idiot, either. i know when to stop.
also,
you know me. i'm NOT going to fake it up and do things to make people like me. i never said i wasn't going to try new things. EVER. it's not even a big deal.
tonight i was going to try and spend time with this one girl...but no. you got mad about the alcohol. you wouldn't speak to me, except for the occasional "you know i'm mad at you, right? hope you're having funnnnn". if you don't think that automatically puts me in a weird spot, you're crazy. i couldn't spend time with the person i really wanted to because i KNEW that you were disappointed and disgusted by me. why do you do that? do you like knowing that you've made things harder for someone else? that doesn't make any sense...
i know you say it's not preaching...but it is. you're not necassarily "preaching the edge", but you're preaching your opinion. and there's a difference between a "moral" opinion, and a "forced" opinion. yours was terribly forced. you didn't want to do something, so you made me feel bad for doing it. that makes no sense and is so selfish.
i can't talk to you
your emotions cloud every bit of integrity you've got left
and i can't voice my opinion without it being turned around
and made to be something I did to hurt YOU personally.
that was never what this was about
i think for myself
i've got plans in my head constantly. that's how i work. plans plans plans
and my plans for tonight were totally fucked up.
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